What is the issue with showing and telling?

Welcome to another of my blog posts looking at various aspects of writing fiction (also creative non-fiction and memoir. Much of my advice applies to that too). This post is all about showing and telling. It's a bit of a thorny issue, and I think the concept is widely misunderstood. Hence writers can get a bit uppity about it! I hope this little post will throw some light on how you can use showing and telling, or not, to your advantage. Think of showing and telling as a technique, not a rule, and a technique well worth mastering.

The trap we writers often fall into is showing AND telling. Some things are better shown; some are better told. But it's not often that you need to do both within a single sentence, or within a single unit of action. An example:

'But,' said the writer crossly, 'this is just a stupid writing rule, and I don't believe in rules!'

As you can see, this single sentence both shows and tells how the writer reacts. The showing (the dialogue) does all the heavy lifting here, so you can banish the telling (which is the word "crossly", and even "said the writer"):

'But this is just a stupid writing rule, and I don't believe in rules!'

It's a small but significant example, and always worth looking out for in your writing. "Crossly" is also, of course, one of those pesky adverbs, which are often over-used and make for unnecessary telling: another reason to consider your use of adverbs. No rules (!) of course, but adverbs do need to earn their place.

Sometimes, in a misguided effort to avoid telling, writers can over-do showing, and the end result is a bloated novel, often with too much going-nowhere dialogue, a bit like this:

'Hi, how are you?' asked Pauline.

'I'm fine, thanks. How about you?' replied Marie.

'All good with us. We had a lovely holiday in Spain in July,' said Pauline.

Marie nodded. 'Oh, nice. How'd it go?'

'Great. But it was so hot. I got sun-burned. Ouch!' Pauline rubbed her arm.

'Gosh, yes, ouch. You have to be careful in the sun,' advised Marie.

Pauline was quiet for a moment or two. Then she spoke: 'Susan met a young man.'

'Ooh, really? Tell me more,' said Marie, surprised.

And so on... and on... and on...! This is way too much showing. And telling. Too much of both. It's boring and flat. It could all be streamlined to look like this, saving only the important parts of this dialogue exchange (showing) and only the important reactions (telling):

After pleasantries, Marie asked about Pauline's holiday. Pauline complained of the hot weather and sunburn. She rubbed her arm. [Neat telling, and useful because it means we can skip the small talk, and get quickly to the first important line of dialogue, which is:]

'Susan met a young man,' she said, after a short pause.

Marie wondered if Pauline had been trying to avoid mentioning it. This was rather... surprising. [Possibly still telling a bit too much, but it does make it clear that Marie is intrigued, and that she, and probably Pauline, feel that Susan meeting a young man is out of kilter, or undesirable, in some way...] 'Ooh, really?' said Marie. 'Tell me more.'

And without the commentary:

After pleasantries, Marie asked about Pauline's holiday. Pauline complained of the hot weather and sunburn. She rubbed her arm.

'Susan met a young man,' she said, after a short pause.

Marie wondered if Pauline had been trying to avoid mentioning it. This was rather... surprising. 'Ooh, really?' said Marie. 'Tell me more.'

Hopefully the second version has more pace, is more intriguing, and is better-written. I also wanted to be rid of "Then she spoke". It simply isn't needed here, and is the kind of telling that can be fearlessly jettisoned.

Showing and telling is all about balance: selecting the right moments to show, and the right moments to tell; and also trying to do these things in the best possible way (which often means the leanest way). I usually aim for word economy, and sparseness, but lean writing works with any style. My own rule, that I try to stick to, with the occasional exception, is to show without telling, and tell without showing. So that each bit of telling is in addition to the showing, and vice versa. This way the story I'm trying to write is moving along, and the plot is developing, without any needless explanations or repetitions. Something like this:

Pauline hesitated. Her face turned pink. [Telling here would be something like: "Pauline felt embarrassed".]

'Pauline?' said Marie.

'I'm sorry. It was a shock. After all that business last year.' [showing, and with useful subtext that I hope continues the intrigue and mystery: what did Susan get up to last year? It could be argued that "It was a shock" is too telling and is not needed; but it's still showing, as it's in dialogue. But it could go. Perhaps in a further edit I would take it out.]

Of course, thought Marie. Oh, silly, silly, Susan! [A bit of showing and telling here, with Marie's real, inner reaction, in contrast to the banal invitation which follows. I don't necessarily need "thought Marie" (telling), but I kept it to make clear this is Marie's thought, not Pauline's.] 'I understand,' said Marie, and she too rubbed Pauline's arm. Marie noticed it was pale and freckled. Pauline hadn't been sun-burnt at all. She wasn't quite the liar she hoped she was. She never had been. [Telling here, but useful telling, with a bit of backstory; and it's in addition to the dialogue " I understand" - but not describing the dialogue. So forward momentum is created.] 'Would you like to pop round for a cup of tea?'

'Yes, please,' [I think it's fairly clear Pauline is relieved by the tea invitation, but I'm resisting adding that here. The reader can sense this, I think. So it only needs to be shown.]

And again without the commentary:

Pauline hesitated. Her face turned pink.

'Pauline?' said Marie.

'I'm sorry. It was a shock. After all that business last year.' 

Of course, thought Marie. Oh, silly, silly, Susan!  'I understand,' said Marie, and she too rubbed Pauline's arm. Marie noticed it was pale and freckled. Pauline hadn't been sun-burnt at all. She wasn't quite the liar she hoped she was. She never had been. 'Would you like to pop round for a cup of tea?'

'Yes, please.'

And finally, the whole scene. You can probably spot other areas where showing and telling could be even more economical, so treat this as a starting point:

After pleasantries, Marie asked about Pauline's holiday. Pauline complained of the hot weather and sunburn. She rubbed her arm.

'Susan met a young man,' she said, after a short pause.

Marie wondered if Pauline had been trying to avoid mentioning it. This was rather... surprising. 'Ooh, really?' said Marie. 'Tell me more.'

Pauline hesitated. Her face turned pink.

'Pauline?' said Marie.

'I'm sorry. It was a shock. After all that business last year.' 

Of course, thought Marie. Oh, silly, silly, Susan!  'I understand,' said Marie, and she too rubbed Pauline's arm. Marie noticed it was pale and freckled. Pauline hadn't been sun-burnt at all. She wasn't quite the liar she hoped she was. She never had been. 'Would you like to pop round for a cup of tea?'

'Yes, please.'

I hope this all makes sense. Showing and telling advice does rather confuse, and irritate, and can even cause division among writers. It has become rather controversial, but it doesn't need to be. My best advice is to be alive to and aware of your writing, to every sentence, especially at the editing stage. Try to make sure that the showing and telling you include are deliberate, purposeful, and, yes, economical, even if your style is wordy. The main thing is to use the showing and telling technique to your advantage, to make it work hard for your story. Do your best to avoid showing and telling. Aim for showing or telling. This approach is so useful for creating pace, forward momentum, and word economy; and, when done well, it makes for simple story-telling with clarity and precision.

And a few final thoughts. All stories are in fact told. That's the nature of writing. So showing is, really, a trick, or an illusion: telling made to look like showing. Showing, at its core, is the removal of a filter - the narrator's opinion and assessment of what is going on, and the imparting of facts. ("Her face turned pink" shows - this is what it looks like; but "She was embarrassed" tells - this is what is happening.) When showing, the narrator stands back and just tells us what the sentence, unit of action, or scene, looks like, leaving the reader the space to fill in the gaps and figure out why Pauline's face is pink. Showing tends to invite the reader into the scene, to take part in it, to speculate. Telling can get us past the less important moments that don't need to be shown. Both are equally useful.

I hope this is all helpful. There are other ways to approach showing and telling, so take from this what helps. Also, don't be wary of telling in a first draft... showing really comes into its own during editing. Get that first draft down without worrying too much about showing and telling. It's truly a matter for the editing stage... and you can't, of course, edit a blank page...

Until next time, happy writing, and happy editing!

Louise x